I've been doing some thinking...

And I can't help but wonder why my life is how it is, and why I feel the way I do.  But, I am happy with everything right now, well for the most part.  I am really far from my family and friends, but I am continuing my education to become a teacher, and hopefully inspire many of the young minds that follow me and my generation.  

I know that for the things that matter, we often have to make a trade, and for me I traded my proximity to family for an education.  I am sometimes regretful, and wish I could stay home, but I know that in the long run, things will turn out for the best.  I do get to see my family on breaks, for a month over Christmas, and three months over the summer, so things aren't so bad.

I also get upset because I have no one to cuddle with.  I am a huge sap and love being romantic.  Only problem, I have no one to be romantic with.  I also however love to flirt.  I just do.  I guess I just want to find the perfect man.  I have been looking since I was old enough to know that love happens, and isn't just a faerietale.  Since I found out that love is real.  I just think I look to hard, and I just need to be more patient.  I believe that love will find me, I am just afraid that it won't happen for a while.  I want so bad to be happy with somebody.  

Sometimes, it makes me feel good to know that I am not alone in the world, and other people feel the same way I do.  If anything has taught me that it is PostSecret.  I love the raw emotion those cards hold.  And you can feel it as the reader because you know what courage it took to put it to paper.  It is one thing to hold something in your heart and let it tear you up, but it is a whole nother thing to see it and have to face it.  I love though, that some of the cards are so rejoyceful, and happy, even though it could not be vocalized.  Things like PostSecret put my life into perspective.  It makes me understand and more fully appreciate everything I have.  (I did before, but it makes me think at least once a week how lucky I really am.)  

But, before I end this entry, I will leave with a few things.  One is a reply that was put on the PostSecret site that really struck me...

"Finding the things that you weren't looking for is one of the most amazing surprises in life. Maybe you're someone's amazing surprise."

And finally my favorite poem ever.  It really makes me think about where I am, where I have been, and where I am going.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. -Robert Frost