More snow, same storm?

And there we are, standing in the snow, someone walks by, on their way back to their own dorm, doesn’t say a word. Our bodies pressed against each others, gently kissing in the whispers. I am sure a poem is running through your mind, but to the title, I could not say. Maybe a sonnet, or perhaps a free-verse, or your favorite, a haiku. I know how you love them. And through this, all I can see is you, and the gorgeously goofy wave I get every time I walk into the field house. I am amazed that every time I walk in, you see me, not 5 seconds after I walk through the door, even between the lacrosse balls being thrown, and through the nets, and the runners on the track, and between all the people there that you are talking to anyway. It is always me you spot, before anyone else has a chance. Still, here we are in the snow, you stop, and you look at me, not saying a word, taking my hand, you walk, and lead me to your townhouse, where you can’t help but sneak another kiss or five at the door before we walk inside. Opening the door, I am nervous following you, but you look at me with your reassuring eyes, telling me to relax, because you can feel the tension in my fingers, that are not so willing to bend as they should. You let us in, to get out of the cold, and you say, ‘Hold on, one second.’ And I nod, you run upstairs real quick, maybe to see if anyone is home, maybe to use the bathroom, maybe to grab a drink, or maybe to relax a bit yourself. But then I am snapped back to reality. I don’t know what brought me from the dream, maybe it was the stairs I had to climb, or the car that was driving past as I was walking aimlessly, or the fire house alarm sounding for a fire call. Whatever it was, it was surely not welcome. Every time it seemed something brought me to at this point in the story, and I still have not figured out what would happen next. Still, I looked forward to seeing you in the Union the next morning. I have seen you several times, and every time, I get a sheepish, almost shy wave from you, when you see me walk in. Your eyes find me even in the most crowded of times, and I scan the window seats, half knowing you will be there with a cup of coffee and your laptop, but still surprised every time I do find you. And the wave you give me there is the opposite of the one I get at the wall, but when passing each other on the sidewalk, perhaps on our way to our respective classes, I get the wall wave. I look for you everywhere I go, hoping you will be there, and when you are, walk to me, and talk to me on your own accord, and make it more than friendly. But you never do, and my dreams die a little, until the next time I see you, or the next time I am alone, or the next time my mind somehow materializes your voice. I don’t know if I should have hope with you, or not. My very nature deems it necessary, but your actions say much less than I am sure I make it out to be.

The snow was falling...

I was walking back, and everything was perfect, except one thing was missing, a hand that should have been holding mine. As for everything else, it was a just perfect temperature of about 30 degrees, and the wind was calm, almost impossible to detect without the gentle falling of the beautiful snow flakes. The perfect kind of snowflakes. The ones that seem to whisper as they hit the ground, and you can feel as they fall into your hair, and lay a fresh white blanket over everything in sight. The kind that refreshes the scene, makes life beautiful, and seems to slow time down. That is how the world felt as I stepped from the gym into the weather, back to my dorm. I walked down the same path I do every time I leave the rock wall, and you were there climbing. Nothing changes, not the steps, not the time, not the thoughts in my head, not the fact that I walk, hoping you will be there behind me, running to catch up, and asking me to stop. Asking me to stop, to wait for you, for you to grab my hands, look me in the eyes, not breaking your stare, slowly getting closer until our lips touch, and we close our eyes, almost reluctant to break the gaze we share, but yet so willing because of what we know will come. Just imagining this distant dream takes my breath away, makes me stop, to catch it, and makes me dizzy, as I feel even my fingertips tingle from the ecstasy I imagine as this wonderful situation plays out in my mind.

Sounds Like This...

If you are at all familiar with Eric Hutchinson, then you know this is the title of his newest album. This one is a review of, you guessed it, Eric. I was introduced to him by one of my friends, and I think he is just fabulous. I have never liked a certain artist so much, so quickly.

He is a mix between John Mayer and Jason Mraz. His voice and catchy-ness is much like Jason Mraz in 'I'm Yours', but he plays his guitar much like John Mayer. But Eric is able to capture these two styles, mixing them in with his own bits and he becomes his own artist. I use Mayer and Mraz simply as a comparison for those of you who have not yet heard Eric Hutchinson for yourself.

Hutchinson has a quirk in just about all of his songs, for repeating certain words, like Oh, in the song Oh!. He also repeats Na alot in Rock 'N Roll, but he does not over do it. He walks the line so gracefully between stuck in your head annoying, and catchy sweet.

I only have been listening to him, for not even 24 hours, and already I cannot get enough of him. If you are a fan of Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, or Dave Matthews, I highly recommend Eric Hutchinson, as I am sure he will quickly become a recurring name in your playlist.

My Valentine's Secret... <3

You, Mr. Jared Dean, are the one I am starting to fall in love with. You drive me crazy just dreaming of the next time I get to talk with you. Everytime I walk into the Union, I look at every table next to the windows, because I hope that you might be there, and ask me to come sit with you. I go to the rock wall every night, hopeing that in the walk back to my dorm, I won't make it all the way, because you will ask me to your dorm. Every time I see a kiss on TV, I imagine the next time you see me, you won't be able to resist yourself, and push me against a wall, and you will lay one on me. You are so nice to me, but yet you were so weary of me until you got to know me a little bit more. I want to get to know you a lot more. I, Mr. Jared Dean, am looking for love, and I have been for a very long time, and I am longing to take the next chance with you. I am, at this point hoping that you are the last chance I take, but do keep in mind, it is still a chance.

Mr. Jared Dean, You are driving my foolishly hopeless, and I am loving every second of it.

Skirts over Jeans, literally.

So much has happened. Before I begin though, I must say this is turning into more of a journal than anything. Hmm. I am going to eventually fix this. Well, Onward...

Was walking back to my room from the rock wall, and was walking with Jared and Bryan, Jared's friend, and when we parted ways, it is my and Jared going one way, and Bryan the other. Well, as we parted Jared says, 'Well, looks like it is just you and me.' And makes that suggestive clicky noise with his mouth, and Bryan said soemthing about him being a creeper, and Jared and I while walking had a conversation. Point is I am crazy and excited about that. I really like him. Any one have any tips on how to get him?

Now, on to the blog part.

Clothes... clothes help us to exress ourselves, or to hide ourselves. Either way clothes are part of who we are.

For those who like to look fashinable and wear popular clothes, I have decided are not trying to look astonishing. They are trying to blend in. If they wear popular clothes, no one will notice them because they just fit with the group, or the majority of the group.

Then you have a group of people that like to mix it up, but not look too outlandish. These people like to be part of the group and still have a desire to express themselves, but still not be singled out. These people wear popular clothes but are not focused on the latest style, but taking it, and perhaps willing to bargain shop, or add a twist of their own, like a favorite belt, or pair of shoes that would not be generally accepted alone.

Then you have people who are willing to take popular style and largely modify it. They take something that would be accepted apart, but when the outfit is put together, it is fashonable, but maybe a little fashion forward. These are people who like to be part of a group but can and will survive on their own. They don't need the group identification.

Then you have people who are their own style. They wear whatever they want, when ever they want, and would most times not gice a flying monkey butt about being part of the group.

Finally you have people who are a combination. Peopl like me. Not everyone is the same combination... but I will explain my style.

I am a person who likes to be with a group but still loves being identified as her own person, and depending on the group, would prefer it. When I was little, I would wear dresses and skirts over jeans. I ahve always done that. I also used to wear watches on my ankle. Now I am not so fashinably independant, but still love to add my own flair.

Foolishly Hopeless, ... still.

So, I worked up some courage, and asked Jared if he would join me at the hockey game on Saturday.  When he answered, he said maybe, he had plans for a party, but didn't know if he was gonna go.  So satisfied with the answer I let the subject go.  So, came Saturday.  Saw him earlier in the Union, where he made a point to say hi to me, because he just about shouted my name when I had my headphones on and didn't hear him, but when I saw him later at the rock wall, he didn't say a damn word, or even look at me.  I am utterly puzzled.  It ended up, I think he blew me off, and I don't even think he went to the party.  So, here I am lonely once again, still looking, but you will be proud of me, I haven't gotten too attached.  I am pretty happy with that.  Lets look for the good in this???

Signed,

Still Foolishly Hopeless.

Oh boy... again.. ha.

Yes. Same boy as Boy oh Boy. Thats right, Jared.

So, I went to the rockwall, after having some frustrating day with my car, to relax, figured it wouldn't be so busy, but I was wrong. So, I walked up to the wall anyway, and got a harness. As I was walking up Jared saw me, and started waving at me like a dork. But I loved it. :) So, I put my harness on, and got ready to climb. The thing that makes me laugh the most though, is that I got a very obvious wave, but he barely said a word to me unless I initiated the conversation. Almost as if he was too shy, but yet he could wave to me. I am utterly confused, but I like him oh so much. I just wish I knew if he liked me or not. Boy oh Boy, you are starting to drive me... hmm, what is a good word for this? Not yet crazy, loopy perhaps? Try, maybe... odd? You are starting to drive me odd, maybe not... hmm... Wait, got it!!! Mr. Jared Dean, you are starting to drive me foolishly hopeless.

I like it,...

Mr. Jared Dean, you are starting to drive me foolishly hopeless.

Signed,
girl with the brown eyes full of dreams.

The list.

So mnay times have I been tagged in this on facebook, so here is where my random trivia goes. Like the good trivia, not just that crap you put up that everyone knows already.

1) I am a very serious person. Sometimes, too serious, but then I am too laid back when a situation presents itself that I do need to be serious about.

2) If I don't think you are up to my standards, I won't give you the time of day. Well, maybe a minute, but if you are a fool who doesn't show the slightest bit of maturity, then, no, you get none of my time.

3) I like to believe I can read people really well. I have proved this by literally reading people to their face and they are like hey, yeah, thats true. I did this to one of my friends, who when it happened, I didn't know very long.

4) I cherish family more than anything you could ever hand to me.

5) I love being a dork, and I only let loose when I am around the people I love, that is when I act like some one much younger than I am. I must say I love being a dork.

6) I love food. I love food because of the taste, and because in my family, we always eat and cooked together... ALWAYS!!! Dinner is a sit down meal, and all I can say, is sadly that tradition is fading much too quickly.

7) I hung out with someone I haven't seen in years this past weekend. It was awesome to see her again.

8) Family is not always blood. Katie is a prime example. She is my sister. She always will be. Kayla, who is blood, is my sister even though she is my cousin.

9) I love SUNY Potsdam, and I love the fact that no one from my high school is here. We have an amazing program and absolutly fabulous facilities.

10) I sleep. Not so much that I sleep alot, I just sleep when it is dark out. Just a habit. IDK, maybe a good one? I like it. Some people say I go to bed early, but I think they go to bed much too late.

11) I feel I have a great sense of responsability. I am fully supporting myself while away at school. I have two jobs, you could say, workstudy, and TSC. I am going to pay every penny of school, I pay my own insurance, gas, registration, all of it, myself. I buy my own clothes, technology, nessecities, and miraculously, I can do my own laundry.

12) I love my jobs. TSC and the rock wall. I also love the people I have met through these experiences.

13) I am lonely alot. I have very few friends up here, and I spend most of my free time in my dorm. As a result, I have not made any friends. I wish that I could be here in Potsdam, and still be close to everyone.

14) I am very aware of my surroundings. More aware than the average person. I listen intently, and I catch minor detains, that were different than the last time I may have been there. I also watch what people do, and wonder why they do it.

15) I feel that in a group of strangers I either don't measure up, or they don't measure up to me. I rarely feel equal, unless it is my family/friends.

16) I love comedy. I love to laugh until I cry.

17) I am interested in photography. I have started to snap pictures of my surroundings. I have a digital camera. I want to be an amazing photographer in my spare time.

18) I live by my music. Music can dictate my moods. But my moods will dictate my music.

19) I am semi lactose intolerant. I say semi because I can eat ice cream, to a point. If it is rich, I get sick. Like my moms, she uses whole milk, and I get sick every time I eat it, but I LOVE her ice cream. But I can eat cheese, and I can have a bowl of cereal. I don't understand it.

20) I love being up on technology, but I don't go out and buy the latest and greatest. I do my research. I can keep a piece of electronics for years and still be rather nice. I take great care of major purchases.

21) I fall way too fast for men. They make me all giddy inside. I am unusually attracted to military men. If I liked you before and I find out you are some how affiliated with the military, I swoon that much more.

22) I tend to mold into whatever my boyfriend is into. For example, when I dated Amos, I wore good clothes, and took care in my apperance, but when I dated Jason, I took little care in my appearence, wearing camo pants and a simple t-shirt often.

23) My emotions run deep. I love and hate passionatly. Rarely is there an in between with me.

24) I base my life on where I was, not how old I was. I have moved so much, that my life's memory is split up into places we were stationed. But I feel that because I have moved around so much, it is a good thing. I have been exposed to alot, and I feel very worldly, perhaps more than someone who has been to another country. Tourists have no right to say they are worldly, they have not experienced the culture just because they hoped on a plane and flew over, and stayed in a hotel and saw all the hot spots. You experience the culture by living it, but diving into it.

25) I suppose the final one should be a kicker. I am stubborn, and I believe that I am beautiful, even if you do not. I probably think you are ugly, and I and much smarter than you. Of course if you are a friend, family member, or boy of interest, you are more than likely exempt from this train of thought.